OK, so on to today's post. I know, "10 foods I want to eat now?" I thought this was a writing blog! Well, too bad, you're going to read about food. And not even Classy Quinoa Kale Soup or whatever. No, about period food. And if those of you with Y chromosomes are like "ewww gross" then please just... get over it... and take a biology class... My gross times of bleeding and wanting ice cream is keeping the human race going.
Anyway, obligatory mini-rant aside, this week I decided to procrastinate from my homework by giving in to the metaphoric screeches of my uterus to EAT ALL THE FOOD. Only, I didn't actually EAT ALL THE FOOD because, you know, that would cost money and effort, and I didn't want to spend money and effort. So instead, I did what I always do, and went on the Internet to look at pictures of food. And boy, did the Internet deliver. Buzzfeed Food and a few awesome Tumblr blogs are constantly providing pictures (and for the most part, recipes) of delicious food. Inspired, I made a list of 200 foods that I want. Yeah, that wasn't a typo; 200 foods. But I've reduced it to 10 and I've decided to make you suffer along with me as you remember that you, too, would have to go to the supermarket and then spend a few hours cooking to get any of these. (I'm not even linking to the recipes because come on... as if) And I will describe the situation in which I will eat them. Haha, I see you, literary agents who happened to find this blog post trying to see if I'm really a professional writer.
1. "PMS Brownies"
Where I would be: On a very comfy couch.
What pointless activity I would be doing: Reading through celebrity Twitters and commenting to the air with things like "Yes! So true!" or "My queen!" or "Ugh! you are so problematic" or some such nonsense.
2. Fancy Garlic Knots (the ones in the picture have sun-dried tomato and feta)
What I would wear while eating these: A lovely dress, but not like an uncomfortable one. And fuzzy socks.
Where I would be: A nice pizzeria that conveniently nobody else was in, so I can do whatever I want.
What pointless activity I would be doing: Watching 'Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.' Yes, the pizzeria is playing a Harry Potter movie on their TV. Deal with it.
3. CHURROS WAFFLES
What I would be wearing while eating these: A nice sweater that takes in all the cinnamon crumbs and makes them part of the sweater.
Where I would be: Literally at JJ's Diner in Pawnee, India. I would enter the land of TV fiction to go there.
What pointless activity I would be doing: Sobbing over an hour-long recap of every important moment in Parks and Recreation. Then ordering another plate of churro waffles.
4. Baked Brie
What I would be wearing while eating this: A beret.
Where I would be: In a rustic house in the South of France right by a lovely garden in the summer.
What pointless activity I would be doing: Somehow a feminist rant. It would be pointless because I would be talking to myself. But it would be very passionate and angry nonetheless.
5. Pizza margherita (fresh baked from a pizza oven)
What I would be wearing while eating this: A beautiful sundress that is not white.
Where I would be: In a small, rustic, yet somehow entirely empty pizzeria in Rome. Outside a street musician is playing the accordion. The sun is setting.
What pointless activity I would be doing: Taking selfies because I am convinced that this is it, I am so beautiful, I am so rustic and hipster, hashtag foodie.
6. Cider doughnuts
What I would be wearing while eating this: A big cable-knit oversize sweater in some autumn color, and a crown of autumn leaves perfectly rested in my hair. They do not get tangled in my hair because I am a woodland nymph, OBVIOUSLY.
Where I would be: Resting in a bale of hay in the middle of a harvest festival.
What pointless activity I would be doing: Reading a book that on the outside looked like 'Walden' but on the inside it was 'The Princess Diaries.'
7. Parmesan and Truffle Fries (we are entering the "French fry" section of this post)
What I would be wearing while eating these: Just, normal clothes. Why did I decide to make clothes a part of this? I'm terrible at fashion.
Where I would be: Sitting on a bar stool looking out at the New York City night life. But I didn't have to park in the New York City night life. I teleported to the bar stool.
What pointless activity I would be doing: Gossiping with someone that agrees with all of my opinions about what trends I hate in YA books.
8. Garlic Matchstick Fries
What I would be wearing while eating these: pajamas. But, like, day-wearing pajamas, that I can get crumbs all over.
Where I would be: In my bed, defeating the purpose of trying not to get crumbs on my pajamas.
What pointless activity I would be doing: Watching Superwoman videos on YouTube and saying "YES God she is so smart" at everything she says.
9. Curry Fries? Buzzfeed, is that really real?
YAH IT IS, BUZZFEED SAYS.
What I would be wearing while eating these: Just straight-up cozy blanket (that no one cares about so we can get it stained) covering my entire body. Except my face holes, those are for French fry-depositing.
Where I would be: Despite wearing only a blanket, I would be in a very lovely restaurant with nice music playing. But no other people there. Except the waiter. Who is Daniel Radcliffe.
What pointless activity I would be doing: Watching a very cozy movie. Like The Princess Bride or something.